When many of us hear the word “conflict” we may tense up, begin to sweat, start to put on our mental (or physical) battle armor, or look for the closest exit to get as far away from it as possible.
However, the reality is that conflict, when it’s healthy, productive, and progress-focused, can be an amazing tool in your toolbox, whether you’re dealing with it in your personal life, or with your colleagues and within your team.
One of the primary reasons why conflict gets a bad rap is that…
Prior to the last, say, 3 years or so, when searching for and assigning ratings to services or products online, there was a universal understanding of the scale, weight, and reliability of a 3-star vs. 5-star rating. Now, I feel, this is no longer true. And I blame Uber. Well, not Uber, exclusively. Rather, I blame how we’ve placed reward on an unrealistic, expected result, rather than using those results to inform, implement, and measure an improved outcome.
In the modern comedic satire Talladega Nights: The Ballad of Ricky Bobby, Ricky’s father imparts some (rather flawed, yet motivating!) wisdom on…
Feedback sessions. 360 Reviews. Net Promoter Scores. One on Ones. When you read those words, what emotions or responses are bubbling up in your mind (or your gut)? Is it Fear? Anxiety? Anger? How about Elation?
I’m sure that, for most of you, that last one made you laugh out loud (and maybe spit out your drink). In fact, science has shown that we when hear criticism, our bodies have a physical and psychological response, where our “ego can get so defensive that it becomes its own ‘totalitarian regime’, where information is censored in our mind.“
How many times has this scene occurred in your life:
You stumble upon a great [idea, job, mate, car, event, whatever]. You’re totally psyched about it and can’t wait to take the next step. But then, somewhere in the back of your mind (or out of the mouth of a so-called trusted friend/colleague/partner/parent/sibling) the following thought is uttered: “What will [fill in whoever or whatever] think?”
Immediately, you stop your momentum, and self-doubt and excuses begin to enter into your mind grapes.
Founder & Chief Evolution Officer at Painted Porch Strategies, where we help individuals and businesses Design a Blueprint for Eudamonia (aka “the Good Life”).